Road Trip Nation by Matt Nolan

Road Trip Nation by Matt Nolan

Three days after resigning my previous job, I was on the road heading across this great nation. Harris generously designated his stylish white volvo for our travels, and Sunday afternoon we met at the GA-AL line to head west. We stopped in at Birmingham to meet three lovely ladies for some Arby's, and then it was time to take some ground.
We tackled five states that night - Alabama, Mississippi, Tennessee, Arkansas, and Oklahoma. A special thanks to cracker barrel's genius system of renting books on CD...Lisa Beamer kept us enthralled with her recollection of Sept 11 in "Let's Roll." We finally decided to call it a night, stopping just past Oklahoma City to crash around 3am. Pulling off the nearest exit, we ironically threw up a tent right beside a recently gutted motel.
Day 2 we woke up early to a cloudy cold wind and some penned up buffalo down the hill...only in Oklahoma, folks. After some delicious sausage biscuits we were back on the interstate into Texas, stopping in Amarillo for some much needed cowboy hats (yeah c'mon). Upon entering New Mexico we drove, much to our surprise, straight through a blizzard. Harris insisted we pull over and get out, but I refused to make snow angels. We busted it all the way to Flagstaff Arizona, passing some beautiful scenery in the painted deserts and rock faces. The CD player broke so we managed to get by finding some killer AM stations featuring the likes of Savage, Hannitize and El Rushbo. Two days down and we had flat crossed the entire nation. We snagged a room at the Super 8 for an actual good night's sleep.
Early the next freezing morning, we shot up to the Grand Canyon, hooked up a national park pass, and cruised the rim. After driving around and getting lost for about an hour, we bagged the tourbus for our own exploration of multiple viewpoints. You could find the trusty volvo pulled over along the road as we hiked up through the woods to scope some breathtaking cliffs. Mid-afternoon we'd seen all we came to see, so we shot up to Zion National park in Utah. This place was absolutely amazing, driving through the towering walls of the canyon until dark. There were some killer day hikes that we didn't have time for, so put it in the books, we'll be back. Once the sun had set, we detoured down to Vegas, since I'd never seen it before. (Vegas, baby, Vegas). We ate at the famous Binion's Horseshoe and caught a lightshow on the ceiling of Freemont Street, and then enjoyed some cheesy old geezer with a mullet and a velvet jacket play his saxamophone. We walked the casinos in the new section, and though they looked pretty interesting, going from the beauty and majesty of creation to the corniness of adult-disneyland disenfranchised me. Speaking of disenfranchisement, the election was that night, so we'd intermittently watch polls come in. Vegased out, we drove to the outskirts of the city to grab a room at a normal hotel. It was late, and they gave us the last room just as Ohio went for Dubya. Four more years, beeyotch!
Rising late we piled back in our travelmobile to head west into Death Valley. I was expecting a flat wasteland barely eyecatching beyond some cracks in the ground. What we encountered was an extremely mountainous region spotted with dunes in the valleys. The car struggled.
Next destination was Sequoia National Park and then King's Canyon, but we soon found out that there is not eastern entrance to either park. A massive Lord-of-the-rings-mountain range void of any overpasses. So we followed along the base figuring on an afternoon at Yosemite. A pitstop at a ranger's station along the way informed us that the only way we could get in the park was to completely circle it, since snow had closed all entrances but the South gate. We were further informed to "just get in the car and drive," to immediately continue North, or we wouldn't get through the oncoming snowstorm about to blanket the overpass ahead. We hit the road and soon met old man winter. Although Harris nearly freaked driving, I rather enjoyed the experience of traversing extreme geography through extreme weather. Once we got through the storm, I gladly volunteered to drive the rest of the night to Susanville, CA. Harris was not impressed. Whats up Super 8?
Morning we sprung for the nostalgia of breakfast at a Black Bear diner, then took our time enjoying the scenery towards Shasta and then made the final leg to the Ranch. 5 days, 3000 miles, and 500 dollars later, we'd accomplished one of the top bullets on the list of "things to do before I die."

by Matt Nolan

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